So writing class was a little intense last night. One of the girls had written some pages, the start of a novel, before, but then she changed her mind and decided to go in a new direction. She wrote about a girl who was talking with her boyfriend, who was much older, and the boyfriend started asking probing questions about the girl's best friend. The girl replied that her best friend was on break from school, and the boyfriend suggested that the three of them go on vacation together. (Can you see where this was going?) The girl, not seeing where it was going, clasped her hands together and said, "That would be so wonderful," etc. Then the guy started saying lewd things about her best friend and saying he wanted the best friend "between us, just like this." The girl's "days and nights became blurred" and she retreated to her bed.
After reading this, I get to class and the girl starts saying, all starry-eyed, that the man and woman are in love, etc., and some older woman leaves her husband for the guy, and the two women become friends, and "there is an interest between them, not necessarily sexual." Not able to contain myself any longer, I was like, "This guy is a CREEP" and a lively debate ensued. Turns out the author of the story dated a 60-year-old when she was 24 and is fascinated with Lolita.
I just found it unbelievable that the girl in the story would put up with this. Another girl in the class thought the guy in the story needs to be younger (in the story, the girl is in her 20s and the guy is in his 50s) or else have something very compelling about him to explain why all these women (not just one) are into him. The author explained that she didn't grow up in America, etc. and was frankly surprised by the other girl's reaction.
I ended up walking part of the way home with the author, who was nice enough to share her umbrella with me. But I was irritated! I was thinking, more likely than not, that the book is "faction" and she has put up with all kinds of crap from pervy older men. Then I talked about it with D and how the whole thing had a dom-sub feeling and he said, "You know, she's probably just very submissive." Then we decided that most women who date much older men (20-year age difference or greater) are probably submissive, with the exception of Anna Nicole Smith, who was just into her husband's money.
I guess I don't really understand the appeal of submissiveness. When my parents met, my mom was 23 and my dad was 33, but it was very much an equal relationship. I guess there are all kinds of preferences out there and all kinds of different thought. I did like the movie Secretary, but I felt that Maggie Gyllenhaal's character was kind of feisty and more into the sub/dom relationship as a kinky thing, rather than being truly passive.
After reading this, I get to class and the girl starts saying, all starry-eyed, that the man and woman are in love, etc., and some older woman leaves her husband for the guy, and the two women become friends, and "there is an interest between them, not necessarily sexual." Not able to contain myself any longer, I was like, "This guy is a CREEP" and a lively debate ensued. Turns out the author of the story dated a 60-year-old when she was 24 and is fascinated with Lolita.
I just found it unbelievable that the girl in the story would put up with this. Another girl in the class thought the guy in the story needs to be younger (in the story, the girl is in her 20s and the guy is in his 50s) or else have something very compelling about him to explain why all these women (not just one) are into him. The author explained that she didn't grow up in America, etc. and was frankly surprised by the other girl's reaction.
I ended up walking part of the way home with the author, who was nice enough to share her umbrella with me. But I was irritated! I was thinking, more likely than not, that the book is "faction" and she has put up with all kinds of crap from pervy older men. Then I talked about it with D and how the whole thing had a dom-sub feeling and he said, "You know, she's probably just very submissive." Then we decided that most women who date much older men (20-year age difference or greater) are probably submissive, with the exception of Anna Nicole Smith, who was just into her husband's money.
I guess I don't really understand the appeal of submissiveness. When my parents met, my mom was 23 and my dad was 33, but it was very much an equal relationship. I guess there are all kinds of preferences out there and all kinds of different thought. I did like the movie Secretary, but I felt that Maggie Gyllenhaal's character was kind of feisty and more into the sub/dom relationship as a kinky thing, rather than being truly passive.
Comments
I don't understand the whole submissive thing, either. When it comes to marriage/relationship matters, if DH tried to tell me what to do, I would tell him where to stick it.
Interestingly, the girl who wrote the story never really knew her mother. I don't know about her relationship with her dad, though.
At the same time, a lot of girls in their twenties are anxious about all the responsibilities of grown up life---having to pay their own way in life, struggling to make decisions, facing situations they feel unprepared for.
And, bam! An older gentleman comes along. He's sophisticated, well-mannered, and interesting in a way that guys her own age aren't. And he takes care of her---making her decisions, paying for trips and dinners and such---taking away all that anxiety.
And no, this isn't from personal experience.
But it does sound like the girl in your class needs to make a better case in the story for the relationship.
I also agree that security and comfort can be reassuring, but I can't wrap my head around the idea of being dominated like the girl in the story. To each her own, I guess.
As for the author and her story, I think that the story could turn out to be very interesting if she wasn't trying to disguise it as much. If she tells it from the girl's p.o.v. and lets the reader inside her way of thinking, then her readers will see that it's the girl who is a little messed up and the guy is just taking advantage of that.
As for The Secretary, my wife and I both liked it, but she wasn't totally submissive because if you remember, she forced him to not fire her. That wasn't exactly a submissive scene.
Lora - I couldn't agree more. That couple really scares me. And now she's pregnant...