Potatoes in the Mist

So I got the ring resized today. I went up to the diamond district and went into one of the old-fashioned jewelry stores, where customer service has meaning. It was pretty cool. The guy who waited on me sat in a little cubicle. He had cheesy 80s swimsuit shots up, but with LOTS of jewelry on them. In addition to big hair, the girls had about 80 gold necklaces between them, not to mention huge, dangly earrings. It cracked me up. He tossed me one of those huge collections of metal rings that you use to find your size. Amazingly, it goes all the way down to 1...for children? I was a 5 (noting it here so I'll remember). Then he slipped the ring on a long phallic thing to verify that it was a 6. (The ring was a size too big, hence the resizing.) The phallic thing was scored with lines so you could measure. It actually looked more like 5 3/4. Then he took a tool with a thin blue flame coming out of one end and just burned through the ring. He did something else I couldn't see, then u...