Motherhood

I've been reading a number of blogs lately about the vicissitudes of motherhood. I haven't been seeking them out, they just happen to address this topic. Some are on my blogroll, some not. The one I read today was not. It really got me thinking. The writer was saying she didn't know what she was signing up for, the 24/7-ness of it all, the constant sublimation of her needs to those of her children.

Of course this makes me wonder:

1) Was I a huge burden on my mother?

2) Should I have kids?

As for #1, I tend to think not. Sure, I was sometimes a pain in the neck. But I was the fourth kid, by a long shot, so by the time I came along, there were three older kids to help out with me. Plus the next-door neighbors babysat. And I remember my mother saying, "You always knew how to entertain yourself." She meant that I liked to read, which I hope kept me out of her hair.

Sometimes my reading habit made me a little anti-social...I remember my mom invited over a friend of hers and the friend's daughter, who was my age. I showed the daughter where my toys were (specifically Fabuland, which was really cool) and then settled in with a book. Yikes ;)

Regarding #2, I'm not sure. Some mothers show unvarnished enthusiasm: "Yes! You'll love it!" But for whatever reason, I tend to believe the negative accounts...

Comments

Cathy said…
Thanks for dropping by and posting!
Six degress of separation,...
As for having children; at least you are putting serious thought into it; so many people don't! There are many angles to interpret with that one.
Take care!
Cathy
Lisa said…
See, the 24/7-ness of it is exactly why I don't want kids. I'm selfish. I admit it. I like me time. I like things my way. I don't deal well with change unless I'm the one initiating the change, and even then I tend to stick to the plan come hell or high water. That whole sublimating my needs for another thing just isn't my thing. Although I'd prefer not to be single the rest of my life, I'm not sure if I'm even willing and able to compromise enough of myself for a long-term relationship.

But I agree with Cathy---Although there's no way to know for certain exactly how you'll be as a mother, the fact that you are thinking seriously about it puts you way ahead of most of the breeders out there.
Anonymous said…
I remember the summer when I discovered Judy Blume. I spent most of my time reading like a fiend. When my mother suggestested that I go do something outside, it was such as nice day!, I took my latest Judy Blume library book and settled in under a tree for a good read.

She wasn't thrilled when she found me an hour later. :)
Poppy said…
I was READY to have kids a few times between 23 and now. Each time the feeling subsided, and right now I'm at the "I enjoy my friends' kids because that means I get to leave at the end of the day and they stay behind" phase. So, we're on a kids break again. And B is going to kill me for telling you before I had a chance to tell her. I better go send her an email before I click publish... Okay, there we go.
Bearette said…
Cathy - thanks for stopping by!

Lisa - I know, I feel that way sometimes too. I used to feel like I might not want to compromise for a relationship either. And then I met D...

Liz - I read a Judy Blume book outside too :) Was it the Margaret one? i read it on my own inside, then a friend and I read it outside, taking turns reading the pages aloud. I'm not sure why we did that, but it was fun.
Bearette said…
Poppy - isn't it funny how it cycles around like that? My mind keeps changing, too.
Anonymous said…
I never wanted kids. Ever. I come from a huge-ish family and I always hated kids growing up. They made entirely too much commotion while I was trying to lose myself in tales of red-headed orphans. And then, suddenly, I found myself a mother at 25. Somehow, my kid and I have worked out okay for the past 9 years. But I'd never have another one. I'm far too selfish. I count the days til my time is my own again...
Bearette said…
Red-headed orphans are the best. I can't figure out whether I'm selfish or nurturing. Maybe equal parts both.
Caro said…
It's a tricky thing, motherhood.

Some days I wouldn't trade it for the world and some days I wish I'd taken a different path or at least waited until I'd had more "ME" time.

I think I'm speaking for many mothers when I say that you tend to lose yourself.
Caro said…
I can say that you will never love anyone more than you love your children.
Waspgoddess said…
My best friend K was born to be a mother I think. The idea to do something without the children, just her and her husband to be, is an alien concept to her. "Why would I want to do that?" she asks.

Then there is my other friend Z, who, despite having two young boys, still acts as if she was childless, and will happily go off on holiday with some girlfriend, leaving her hubby to look after the children.

What they both have in common is that they are wonderful, loving, caring women and that both sets of kids are loved to bits.

I don't have children, so I can't really comment, but I think once they come along (if you do decide to have them), everything will work out just fine. As long as you love them, and like Caro says (and many before her), not until you have children will you truly experience love.
Anonymous said…
I'm with Lisa on this one, although I have allowed one other person to share my life. I'm selfish and I don't mind being that way. I'm not a nurturer, even though I have a great deal of sympathy for people, and I don't feel the pressing need to make little "me"s either. I've thought about doing the Angelina Jolie thing if I ever did feel the need to raise a child because I think there are way too many people on this planet as it is. Why make more?
Anonymous said…
And I meant adoption :) I know Angelina has her own child too.
Anonymous said…
Bearette- That summer I think I read every single YA book she'd published. I'd go to the library and make a beeline for the B section in Fiction.
This suzy said…
I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a very good friend of mine (Meat). I asked her if she always knew she wanted to have kids, and she said she did. I think she's an incredible mom and I love spending time with her kids because they're great kids. I never felt sure that I wanted to have kids and I think that was a clue to me that maybe it wasn't something I should persue. It's not that I think I'd be a bad mother or that I wouldn't love my child to the end of the earth. I just think that parenting is a HUGE deal and it's not something I want to try to do if I'm not 100% sure about it. Granted, I now get to be a step-parent! I'm already finding that to be a challenge, but sometimes it's also kind of fun. Probably not unlike being a natural parent.

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