Motherhood
I've been reading a number of blogs lately about the vicissitudes of motherhood. I haven't been seeking them out, they just happen to address this topic. Some are on my blogroll, some not. The one I read today was not. It really got me thinking. The writer was saying she didn't know what she was signing up for, the 24/7-ness of it all, the constant sublimation of her needs to those of her children.
Of course this makes me wonder:
1) Was I a huge burden on my mother?
2) Should I have kids?
As for #1, I tend to think not. Sure, I was sometimes a pain in the neck. But I was the fourth kid, by a long shot, so by the time I came along, there were three older kids to help out with me. Plus the next-door neighbors babysat. And I remember my mother saying, "You always knew how to entertain yourself." She meant that I liked to read, which I hope kept me out of her hair.
Sometimes my reading habit made me a little anti-social...I remember my mom invited over a friend of hers and the friend's daughter, who was my age. I showed the daughter where my toys were (specifically Fabuland, which was really cool) and then settled in with a book. Yikes ;)
Regarding #2, I'm not sure. Some mothers show unvarnished enthusiasm: "Yes! You'll love it!" But for whatever reason, I tend to believe the negative accounts...
Of course this makes me wonder:
1) Was I a huge burden on my mother?
2) Should I have kids?
As for #1, I tend to think not. Sure, I was sometimes a pain in the neck. But I was the fourth kid, by a long shot, so by the time I came along, there were three older kids to help out with me. Plus the next-door neighbors babysat. And I remember my mother saying, "You always knew how to entertain yourself." She meant that I liked to read, which I hope kept me out of her hair.
Sometimes my reading habit made me a little anti-social...I remember my mom invited over a friend of hers and the friend's daughter, who was my age. I showed the daughter where my toys were (specifically Fabuland, which was really cool) and then settled in with a book. Yikes ;)
Regarding #2, I'm not sure. Some mothers show unvarnished enthusiasm: "Yes! You'll love it!" But for whatever reason, I tend to believe the negative accounts...
Comments
Six degress of separation,...
As for having children; at least you are putting serious thought into it; so many people don't! There are many angles to interpret with that one.
Take care!
Cathy
But I agree with Cathy---Although there's no way to know for certain exactly how you'll be as a mother, the fact that you are thinking seriously about it puts you way ahead of most of the breeders out there.
She wasn't thrilled when she found me an hour later. :)
Lisa - I know, I feel that way sometimes too. I used to feel like I might not want to compromise for a relationship either. And then I met D...
Liz - I read a Judy Blume book outside too :) Was it the Margaret one? i read it on my own inside, then a friend and I read it outside, taking turns reading the pages aloud. I'm not sure why we did that, but it was fun.
Some days I wouldn't trade it for the world and some days I wish I'd taken a different path or at least waited until I'd had more "ME" time.
I think I'm speaking for many mothers when I say that you tend to lose yourself.
Then there is my other friend Z, who, despite having two young boys, still acts as if she was childless, and will happily go off on holiday with some girlfriend, leaving her hubby to look after the children.
What they both have in common is that they are wonderful, loving, caring women and that both sets of kids are loved to bits.
I don't have children, so I can't really comment, but I think once they come along (if you do decide to have them), everything will work out just fine. As long as you love them, and like Caro says (and many before her), not until you have children will you truly experience love.