Grudges

So I'm in Massachusetts for Mother's Day weekend, and my youngest nephew is having his first communion tomorrow. Tonight, my mom, D and I went to Swampscott (a tony coastal town) to wander around and sample the local eats. I met a fabulous Hevanese named Iggy, and the little boy who was with Iggy was kind enough to take a picture of us. I also got some nice shots of the Swampscott beach and a little knit bunny my sister gave my mom. Since I don't have my USB cord here, I'll download them back in the city.

At dinner, Mom related the story about 2 feuding people at her job...Egbert and Gary. (Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.) A year ago, Gary got fed up with some stuff his boss, Egbert, was doing. Gary was foolhardy enough to send an email to Egbert, calling him out on his worst traits.

Egbert has not spoken to Gary since, except when it's absolutely necessary. Once Egbert was sick and had to ask Gary to take someone to lunch or something like that. Otherwise, he communicates by notes, hastily dropped in Gary's office when he's not there. If Gary's in the office, Egbert will back away and make silly small talk with whoever else is around. "Do you like your coat hanger?" he'll ask the other person.

If Egbert sees Gary at the other end of the hall, he'll beat a hasty retreat. Gary bought a pair of jingle bells so Egbert will know when he's coming. If Egbert sees Gary pulling into the parking lot, he'll drive a few minutes out of his way and come back, so they won't arrive together.

It strikes me that the whole thing is funny/sad. Egbert is 83, but he's acting like he's 8. I don't have energy for real grudges anymore. I still get mad at people, but maintaining the emotion is tough. I'm relieved.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I don't understand grudges like that. I've been told that my grandfather and one of his sisters don't speak because of something that happened 50+ years ago. It's one thing to dislike someone, but when it actually interferes with your day-to-day life, I think that's just plain stupid. And when it's family, what's the point?
10:28 AM
Mz.Elle said…
Wow...just wow,lol

I'm glad you're having a good weekend! Can't wait to see your photos:)
2:01 PM
Bearette said…
Kitkat - I know, huh? the 50+ year grudges are particularly amazing b/c it's probably hard for them to remember how it all started. One of my cousins didn't speak to his mother for a long time, but fortunately they are on good terms again.

Ms. L - thanks! I can't wait to put them up. It was one of the cutest dogs ever.
5:42 PM
Lisa said…
I'm a champion grudge holder, from a long line of outstanding grudgers. Don't ask me to explain it. I know holding a grudge makes no sense. But that doesn't keep me from doing it.
10:29 PM
This suzy said…
I don't have the energy for it either. I find it exhausting to stay that upset with someone, especially when so often it's about something that doesn't REALLY matter. There are just too many other, usually more positive, things in life that I'd rather spend my energy on.
10:36 PM
Bearette said…
Lisa - I know what you mean; I too was once a champion grudge holder. But I think in my old age - heh - things are changing.

Suzy - that's a good attitude.
11:41 PM
Roxanne said…
Life is really too short to hold grudges. Not only does it take a tremendous amount of energy and time, but just think of all the great friendships that have been lost due to them.

Glad to hear you had a nice time with your mom. Aren't moms great? :)
2:44 PM
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