Last night I dreamed that a stripper became the first female president. She had long brown hair and there was a photo of George W. Bush grabbing her chest during a performance. She was smart, and only stripping to support her two daughters. She was a single mom living in a nice section of Harlem on 105th Street. Everyone was so interested in her being a stripper that they forgot she was the first female president. At some point I said, "Hey! She's the first female president!" and everyone said, "Yay!"
Vegetable personalities
At the risk that you'll all think I'm nuts...but heck. I was getting cauliflower ready for dinner and it occurred to me that vegetables have different personalities. In my mind, anyway. Zucchini: the most agreeable of vegetables. It blends in with everyone, but it's never obsequious or false to itself. Sweet potatoes: the grandmother of vegetables. Very cozy and welcoming. Cauliflower: kind of bland, devoid of personality, but it could surprise you sometimes. Like a dull guy who occasionally tells a funny joke at the water cooler. Broccoli: feisty. Like a terrier. Spinach: kind of dour, but a loyal friend. Kale: has a fierce sense of individuality, but like spinach, is a loyal friend. Kale's affections last for life. Corn: this one is kind of a party animal. Corn is still drinking beer and making a mess when you'd like to be closing up. Tomatoes: a little sloppy. The kind of vegetable that needs to be reminded to tuck its shirt into its pants. Cabbage: not invited t
Comments