Baby fever

It is here. It is strong. For a while, after I gave birth, I looked at pregnant women and thought, "Thank God that's not me." The last month of my pregnancy was very hard for me. I had put on so much weight that it was hard to walk (though I had to, since this is NYC and we have no car, and strangers admonished me not to use the subway - I think they thought I would pop at any moment, and their fear was contagious) and I was often short of breath. I'll never forget when, a few days before giving birth, I was walking along and my hat fell off. The distance to the ground was daunting. I couldn't bend over because of my huge belly and I was staring at the hat, trying to figure out how to get to it with minimum sturm und drang. Then this tall, willowy blond creature passed me and elegantly dipped to the ground to retrieve it. I was grateful, but couldn't help feeling like a barge.

Anyway, I now look at pregnant women the way I used to, with a mixture of envy and awe. It's sort of like watching a miracle happening. But I'm going to wait a little while, maybe till next year. I want to make sure this is what I want. (D is on board, whenever I'm ready...it's the opposite of the first child...we were married 5 years before he got comfortable with the idea. But I think he really likes being a daddy.)